I wanted to write about change because it is a very important aspect of life. Change takes place in every moment of everyday, in all of our lives, yet how many of us are able to see change? How many of us actually want to change?
Change is important to me because I strive to live each day of my live in full, reaching the fullest potential possible. I am very aware that my potential on one day is not the same as my potential the next day. This is why change is so significant. You see, as we change in our day to day life, our potential changes accordingly, in either positive or negative ways.
Personally, I do not consider any experience as being negative. Whether something is negative or positive depends entirely upon the way in which we chose to look at it. So, for the sake of this article, we will say that ?negative? refers to a state of being which does not support personal growth and development.
Understanding and accepting that change brings opportunities that help us grow in many different is a powerful way of looking to life in a positive way. I like to use this knowledge as a tool to help me take charge of my own life and the circumstances which surround me; not everyone is able to see life from this perspective however.
Recent experiences involving people close to me have taught me about the nature of change and our human nature in spite of that. I have had the opportunity of seeing why certain people are able to welcome change into their lives. I have also seen that other people cannot, and do not want to even try to change.
I chose to write about change today because my main goal in writing is to help others find ways toward self empowerment and in turn, create a more positive and prosperous life experience. When I begun working on my own personal growth and development, the first thing I had to understand was that the willingness to change and the ability to see change when it occurred in my life, were key factors which would determine whether I would grow as a person from my life experiences or not.
I also learnt that in order to facilitate change, I had to be able to let go of all judgment about myself, what happened to me, who I became as a result of my experiences and who I will become after I heal my issues. Judgment is the worst thing you can imply on any situation you are trying to deal with in your life. Think of it this way, you have an issue which you are trying to understand, the fact that the issue exists in the first place means there is some kind of imbalance in the way you are already looking at and dealing with the situation.
Judgment basically means making an assumption or a conclusion based on the way events appear to be happening around you. If the way you perceive an event in your life does not seem to make sense now, why bother hanging onto the judgment if it is not working? If your judgment was accurate in the first place, you would not even consider the situation at all, your conscience would be clear and there would be no issue left to deal with, so why hang onto ideas which do not work? Is it not about time to let go of judgment, drop your limitations and view your life from another perspective? This is the only way YOU can make way for change to take place in your life.
There have been many people and situations of which I have judged in my life, only to realize that in light of the situation, I was wrong all along! Why do we judge things in the first place and what makes our assumption of a situation seem so real and valid? I leant many great lessons from my own experience of judging and being judged too. I learnt that in life, we always identify with those aspects of other people and situations which are a reflection of our own inner reality.
The reasons we identify with characteristics in other people which reflect our own reality is because we are only able to truly see that which is equal to, or below our current level of consciousness. The level of consciousness from which we view life is the product of who we are and what we know as a human being today. If we had knowledge and understanding beyond the level of consciousness from which we perceive life at the moment, the situation we would normally think of as being an ?issue? would not be an ?issue? from that higher level of consciousness. This is because having the ability to see things from a higher view with a higher level of awareness allows you to see things from a different, broader and perhaps less critical and judgmental perspective.
If you are able to understand and accept this concept then you should be able to start seeing things in others that will determine the starting point in your own work of personal growth Please keep in mind however, it is not necessarily the way in which people act that determines who you are; the essence of who you are today lies within your emotional reactions to other people?s actions and the circumstances which surround you. This is the key to getting to know who you are in the depths of your own inner reality.
I would like to try being as specific as possible with what I am saying. I am not saying that every single thing that you see people doing is a reflection of you. Take for example a vandal you see smashing a car window. It does not mean you are a vandal just because you witnessed the event. As I said before, who you are lies in your emotional reaction to the things you see people do. This is where you can determine your own strengths and weakness when it comes to relationships with others.
Your ability to see to the root of any situation and why you perceive things the way you do is a powerful tool which points you in the direction of positive change. Begin by looking deep into your own self, determine your character and the changes you would like to make and they will begin to manifest as part of your life reality. As grow and develop your awareness to a higher level of consciousness, you will see life the same level. From a higher level of being, the ?small stuff? becomes less significant, you begin to see value in things that you were not able to see before and as a result, you will feel empowered and in control of your own creating your own life experience than you ever did before.
Do you see why it is so important to understand how and why we are responsible for creating our own life reality in this way? Looking at yourself is the best place to begin if you want to change your life successfully. Look at the way you judge others, look at the way you judge situations taking place around you, look at the way react emotionally to things which happen around you. This is the place to begin working toward changing yourself and your life for the better. You cannot change your life unless you change yourself first; you are the one who creates your reality as a reflection of who you are. Understand this is the path to self empowerment.
There are a few other things I would like to mention in reference to change, just because you are ready to change, doesn?t mean everyone else is. I learnt this the hard way. Many people really don?t want their life to change, even if they are miserable. These people are comfortable living with the idea of being a victim. These people like blaming others for the state of their life and they would like to keep their life that way. These people prefer to be a victim because it is apparently easier than taking responsibility for what happens to them. Many people prefer to let life happen to them instead of making life happen. It is a shame, but it is a harsh reality.
Sometimes pride also gets in the way of change and this can be a major obstacle. I know this because I experienced it first hand, both in myself and by witnessing people close to me who have problems with pride. Pride prevents people from moving forward in life successfully. Fortunately, I had the courage to look into my problem of pride and clear it out. On doing so I quickly learnt that pride is one of the biggest obstacles we can ever have which will prevent us from moving forward, growing and learning new things to promote change in life.
Pride stops us from doing the very things that must be done in order to heal, grow and evolve into a higher state of being. For example accepting we are not perfect, accepting there are aspects of ourselves which need to be changed, accepting that we are not always right, that our way is not working, that it's fine to accept help and advice from another person and accepting humility.
Someone who has a problem with pride is unable to admit when they are wrong. Someone who has a problem with pride is not capable of accepting help, assistance or advice from another person. Someone who has a problem with pride is unable to experience the humility that is required before they can accept their circumstances in life. Someone who has a problem with pride thinks they are always right, they can never be seen as being wrong and will always search for ways to blame others. Someone who has a problem with pride is always defensive and ready to speak, act or react as a means of self protection.
From my own experience, I learnt that pride is basically a human defense mechanism which springs into play when our sense of self conviction is challenged by another human being. It is a form of weakness which manifests from lack of self conviction, fear and insecurity. I had a major issue with pride. I was highly defensive and often had a hard time listening to other peoples advice because I thought I knew it all, but I soon found out that I didn't!
Fortunately, my determination to change was far greater and stronger a force than my pride, which I indirectly thought served as a means of protection when I felt afraid of life (that happened to be all the time!). However, I am no longer afraid, I know who I am and no longer feel constantly threatened or challenged by other people.
Another form of judgment which gets in the way of change is blame. Blame creates limitation and is a way of pushing the responsibility of what happens to you onto another person. Blame is another weakness and people who blame others are not ready to change and that is fine for them if this is how they choose to live. However, if you are trying to change, don?t get caught in a rut with others who do not want to change, they will only hold you back.
When you choose to change your life many people may become jealous, envious and resentful towards you because of what you are doing. Do not let them affect you. I know it can be difficult, especially if they are people you care about, but why should you hold yourself back by caring when they do not even care enough to invest in their own life by trying to change? Think about it from that perspective.
Do not allow yourself to be held back, you are living for you, not for others. You will never please anyone who is not happy with who they are anyway, so it is a waste of time for you and them. Instead of trying to save everyone else?s life, just save your own. Your example will lead the way for others to follow in future when they are ready to change.
Another problem can be that people around you may not be able to see your change, no matter how much you try to convince them you have changed. Some people are incapable of seeing change in others because they do not believe it is possible for themselves. Remember what we spoke of before about seeing our level of consciousness in other people, well this is an example. If someone cannot change themselves, do not expect them to believe you can change. These people live within a very limited view of reality where there is no room for growth. Do not let it hold you back, just bless them and keep moving forward.
Some people may see your change, but that does not mean they will like or accept it. They may grow to resent you because your change reflects all the things they avoid dealing with in their own life. By changing yourself, you may indirectly bring light into the aspects of other people?s lives which they have been suppressing. This happens because as your own reality changes and improves, it reinforces the fact that other peoples lives around you may be stagnating. Do not expect them to be happy about that. Remember, if they have avoided change for so long it is because they do not want it. You will not change that, again, just keep moving.
If someone begins to resent you, do not take it personally because it is not about you, it is about them. The resent is an outer manifestation of their own inner frustration, festering inside and growing more and more as they see your growth. If others resent you and are jealous of you it is always about them, not you. Your changes identify the fact that they lack something in their own life, this in turn creates resistance in them which only reinforces their fear of change even more; it is as simple as that!
These are but a few of the things I have learnt over the last six months from being involved in several very interesting experiences involving people around me. I was never good at cultivating successful relationships, I can admit that. My life was tough growing up and I found it hard to trust others. However, I have been working hard at investing my strength and energy into learning about who I am, who other people are and allowing change to come into my life as a result. As I grow and change as a person, I often see more and more people around me becoming resentful. It has not been easy to deal with, and it sometimes seems that there are more people who want you to fail than succeed! However, I just keep moving regardless and I am thankful to have had some profound learning experiences from all the people who have crossed my path in life.
This article is a short summary of what I have learnt so far about myself, about the role of relationships when it comes to change and just how much we can learn about ourselves and others by observing the way we interact, and react in situations. To be honest, I have never valued relationships as much as I do now. However, I did not have the understanding that I do now. I used to like being alone more that with others because it seemed like the easier option to me.
Now I am able to see that by running away and hiding from relationships with others, I was only trying to hide from myself. Now I am able to get more involved with others, and this helps me get more involved with myself. It is extremely empowering to see relationships in this way, it is a source awareness which is available to all. Learn to let go of judgment, open your eyes and you will see yourself staring back at you in all you do and all of whom you see in life.
Yours in Light
