Our main and most essential lesson is love. 

In our search for happiness or spiritual growth, we eventually realize that our main lesson is to be able to love others no matter what they say or do. This does not mean that we allow them to do whatever they like or behave irresponsibly, unjustly or unethically. It means that we love them and respect them even if occasionally we need to confront them assertively and dynamically concerning their behavior.

Why is love our ultimate lesson? Because only when we are in a state of love do we experience our true inner nature. As souls we are love. Love is the experience of our innate connection and unity with all beings and nature. This is the actual reality behind this illusionary world of separate and alienated beings.

The opposite of love is ignorance and fear. We lose our feelings of unity when we fear. Then our various defense mechanisms cover our deep-seated love with fear, hurt, bitterness, anger, hate, jealousy etc.

Seeking to love others unconditionally should not be identified with good and bad or right and wrong. We are not better people because we love. God does not love us more or less because we love or do not love. We are simply freer from ignorance and fear and much closer to happiness and peace. We are not obliged to love. Loving is a choice and an opportunity to experience the joy and peace of unity with ourselves and others.

There is no peace when we do not experience love – because we are locked into our feelings of separateness and that is always painful – because it is an illusion.  We do not feel good about ourselves when we have negative feelings towards others. We can ignore our conscience for some time but deep in ourselves we are at odds with our true self when we do not love others.

But loving others depends so much on loving and accepting ourselves as we are and feeling our own inner self-worth. When we do not love ourselves, then we are living in fear of rejection and loneliness. Thus we need more affirmation and approval from others. When they are not able to give it to us, we feel hurt, disillusioned and angry at them. We loose our love towards others because we doubt ourselves.

Thus the lesson of love is two fold – loving ourselves and loving others.

The key here is to be able to accept ourselves and the others as we are in our process of evolution and not require of ourselves or them to be perfect. When we understand, forgive and accept ourselves and others for our weaknesses and faults and manage to love ourselves and others in spite of those faults, then we are much closer to learning our life lessons and finding true peace with ourselves and others.

Forgiving others and ourselves allows us to free ourselves from the past – which does not exist anyway – and live in the present without the burden of what has happened until now. Living in the present is also a major life lesson.

All beings are created in the image and likeness of God. They are ultimately divine and deserve our love and respect. That includes our spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends co-workers and of course our own self.

We can love purely only when we experience our true spiritual nature. When we experience or perceive ourselves as immortal divine souls who are always safe and worthy. Love requires inner strength and harmonious relationship with ourselves.

Love, then, is always the lesson. To be able to love ourselves and to love others in all situations.

The exercises for this chapter are the following.

1. Observe yourself and make a list of all the moments that you lose your feelings of unity and love for the persons closest to you.

2. Chose one of those situations in which you lose your love and have negative feelings.

3. Discover what you fear in this situation. What are you afraid of losing?

4. Free yourself from that fear by various methods discussed in this and other books. (Especially the books Free to be Happy with Energy Psychology, The Psychology of Happiness and Relationships of Conscious Love.)
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5. Visualize yourself able to love this person even if and when he or she acts in this way.

6. Make it a point to be kind to this person – act as you would if you actually had unconditional love for him or her.

7. Pray for this person’s welfare daily.

8. Love and accept yourself just as you are.

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Affirmations:
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* I am freeing myself from mistaken perceptions fears and expectation that limit my peace, happiness and love.

* I choose unity and love.

* Love is always the lesson. 

* I communicate with honesty and sincerity creating energized love connections with the others.

* When I love I feel strong and safe.  

* I love all without conditions – including myself.