It's Saturday night and you're sitting in front of the television watching "I Love Lucy" reruns. Ricky is berating Lucy for meddling in his business and Lucy is crying bucketfuls. Even as low as Lucy is, she still has Ricky's love, not like you who is sitting there drowning in pity because there is no one special in your life. You get up and head to your bedroom, pulling the covers over your head, wishing that you were never born. Does this sound like you at one time or the other?

It doesn't have to be this way.

Find your spiritual path

Finding one's soul mate seems to be everyone's major pastime lately. Everywhere you turn, there's someone who "has" someone. But, if you take a few minutes to understand how that special someone can come into your life, not only will you make it easier for them to find you, you will understand what it is about you that makes it hard for that soul mate union to come about.

Yes, you. Everyone has a life's path they must take before they finish their journey here on earth. This path was already marked before they came into this world. If they learn how to stay on the "right" path, everything they could ever want would come to them. However, this is easier said than done.

Along your life's path, there are obstacles. These obstacles are like tests that you must endure and conquer before you "find yourself" and finding yourself is the key to finding your soul mate.

Get rid of bad karma

First of all, you have to get rid of all bad karma in your life. Like a broom, sweep it all out of your life and into oblivion. Free yourself of all negativity in one big swoop. Declare yourself free from everything that makes you non-worthy and start over. By relieving yourself of the stresses as the result of bad karma, allow good karma to infiltrate your life by doing things that are good for you and your body. Once you do this, you will begin a new life full of self-love.

Love yourself first

What is self-love, you ask? Self-love is loving yourself more than anything else. Quite the contrary, it's not a selfish act to put yourself above all others, for in the process, you become someone who is confident and self-assured to help others. No longer do you rely on others to make you happy, you rely on yourself for this.

How do you get to that point of self-love? By looking inside yourself. Ask yourself what it is that you want out of life. Ask yourself where it is you want to go with your life. Ask yourself who you are and why you were put on this earth.

Once you discover who you are and where you want to go in this life, you become a stronger and more attractive person. In so doing, you allow your soul mate to enter your life without you even knowing it.

Self-love vs. destructive-love

Mary* is a college student from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like most college students, she spends most of her time studying for exams and polishing up on her secretarial skills by subbing for the local real estate office on the week-ends. Her goal is to become a realtor for a top real estate agency. She knows what she wants and is confident to reach her goal in the upcoming years. She is prime material for her soul mate to come into her life.

Becky* is a young mother from San Francisco, California, whose boyfriend left her after learning she was pregnant. Scared, he left her penniless and ran off without saying good-bye. Becky was left with a newborn and no job skills. She didn't know what she wanted out of life and drifted from boyfriend to boyfriend, searching for love. Is it any wonder she never found it?

The bottom line is this. It's never too late to sit yourself down and do some heavy-duty spiritual counseling with yourself. And, it's never too late to start over. While Mary was following her life's path, Becky had strayed. At what point this happened, only Becky could tell you. Perhaps her childhood had a rocky start. Perhaps she had no guidance and Mary did. Whatever was the reason, it was time Becky had a fresh start not only with herself, but with her life's destiny. It was time that Becky searched inside herself to find out where her path strayed and start back on the right one.

How does she do this? By following her instincts. If Becky could sit down and take each relationship that she was in and figure out for herself at what point did she know that something wasn't right, she would begin to understand where she went wrong and could begin her new path to happiness. And that's what it's all about.

Your path to happiness begins with you.

Once you become the person you should become-self-sufficient, self-confident and self-worthy-you will open up that door for your soul mate to enter. If the timing is right, your soul mate will walk right in that door and carry you off to total bliss and contentment. If you can relate to Becky's situation personally, it's time to rethink your life. Make those changes before it's too late. You will find that your soul mate is but a breath away.

* Names have been changed

© Dorothy Thompson