I believe in the power of action/reaction physics. I call it The Mirror Theory. This is what it means to me: whatever I act out emotionally, the universe acts out with me?and in any way that gets my attention.

If I?m kind to others, I feel the kindness in others. If I?m critical toward others, I feel criticized by others. Whether I know the person on the end of my action is irrelevant. We are one. Therefore, whatever I give, I give to myself. If I give negativity over and over, it reflects in my body. Why? Because dis-ease is disease.

Mirrors come in all shapes and sizes and through any means that works. I even had one with my Honda. The problems it was manifesting were telling me about the problems I was manifesting. It was a distinctive lesson; I wrote an article called ?Mirror Mirror? where I shared my experience. After I understood the message behind the car?s behavior, I was able to correct my own behavior. As I did, the car reflected that change.

My body is another tool to help me recognize the choices I?ve made in terms of emotional action. (Of course, I believe that my body is always reflecting my state of mind). Several years ago, I was having twinges in my back. At first I tried a chiropractor. It worked temporarily, but the twinges returned. I didn?t care for that method of healing so I took up yoga. It made my body stronger and improved a lot of muscle tone, but the twinges continued. Then I returned to my method of analyzing in accordance with The Mirror Theory.

What does my back represents to my body, I asked myself. Well, it?s the physical support that allows me to walk and function. Therefore, if my back is not supporting me, who am I not supporting that deserves to have it. As I thought this over, the following questions came up:

▪ Am I the friend to others that I want to meet in others, or am I the nag who never lets up?
▪ Am I optimistic and appreciative of the choices around me, or am I critical and condescending?
▪ Am I helping all my co-workers in every way that I?m needed, or am I blaming them for every mistake that?s made?

I realized immediately that I was not the pleasant, comforting, cheerful supportive friend I wanted to face in others. I was criticizing under the guise of ?constructive,? and assuming that change was impossible. Of course, that?s how I treated myself as well. To stay aware, I stuck Post-its around the house reminding me to think of ways to support my friends, children, and co-workers. Believe it or not, a week or so later, the twinges were gone.

How can an attitude with a lot of emotional action behind it make a difference so quickly? I don?t pretend to understand the mechanics of this power; I only know it works. Why didn?t I try it sooner when the twinges began? I have no excuse except to say that I get distracted like everyone and think that outer influences create my life.

Analyzing my mirror wasn?t complicated; it just took honesty; the willingness to take a good look at myself. After all, when I look in the mirror, who is there to greet me? Not the people I live with; not the people I work with; only me.

When it comes to understanding how the Mirror Theory works, it?s important to remember that thought alone does not create. Thought acted out toward others does. It seems like a small distinction, but it?s huge. If I think negative thoughts, I attract those in the same frame of mind, but unless I give that negative thought away, it won?t come back to haunt me. Look at it this way. If I hold a boomerang in my hand, it may get heavy (negative thought often does) and it may not feel so comfortable (negative thought rarely does), but other than that, I won?t create discomfort.  If, on the other hand, I throw that boomerang out into the space around me, that boomerang is going to come whipping back.

Above all, I try not to judge my thoughts; we all have dark ones. What I do with them is the key. When someone hurts my feelings or makes me angry (which is pretty much the same thing), I wait until I?m alone to deal with that emotion.

I take a pillow, pretend it?s the person who hurt me, and I kick it around, yelling and screaming until the feelings are out. Once they?re out, I can look at them to see what they are. Once I know what they are, I remember when I gave them. If I don?t get them out, they?re too overpowering to view objectively. And if I?m not looking objectively, I?m looking subjectively. Then the other person becomes the source of the problem and I want that person to change.

So what? You say. Well, then the problem continues as I continue to act out. If I discover the source of the problem, and know that I?m responsible, I take an action to give what I want to get instead.