For the past few days I have found myself looking deep within myself to figure out what it is within me that has changed since I began my journey last spring.  I found myself reflecting on a quote I read:
 
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”
 
I cannot tell you who wrote it, only that it changed my life.  For so many years I found myself getting angry with people over trivial things things like In my opinion they didn't work hard enough, their house wasn't clean enough or the way they handled their time was not structured.  I found myself being consumed by the frustration that connected me with these feelings.  Everyone I looked at I wondered if they were wasting time or being lazy.  This became such a huge issue in my life that I began to take it out on the people I loved the most, my family.  Then, one day I woke up with my usual "hurried" energy and realized..,What am I rushing for"? I thought to myself "Do I have somewhere to go that is really significant?".  I stopped and listened to the sounds around me.  What I heard was the sounds of the birds chirping and the sound of the wind creeping through my window.  It suddenly came to me that there is no such thing as time.  I felt this sadness overcome me and I realized that I had lost my natural rhythm of being in the moment.  I was so hurried through life that I didn't even hear the sounds around me that were reminding me of my existence.  I allowed the physical to sweep me up and separate me from my purpose.  I asked myself "what does it mean to be in the moment?".  My answer came to me simply......."It is to be love."  That's it.  It suddenly occurred to me that if I truly loved myself and my existence then I should look at those around me and see that the reason I was getting so frustrated with them was because I was angry with the part of them that I longed for.  I longed to take time off, to be free or responsibility and to just let go.  I then asked myself how I could change these habits I had developed.  Once again the answer was "Be love."  So, I got up and went to my bathroom and looked at myself.  It was at that moment I fell to my knees and asked God to help me.  I surrendered the physical needs to him.  The next few months were far from easy for me.  The first thing that happened was that I lost my job.  For the first time in my life I was fired.  Then, the entire basement of my home flooded, my daughter got sick and I lost one of my best friends.  I fell to my knees and asked God why did all this happen when all I did was surrender to him with faith.  At that moment I heard God speak to me.  I heard the words "my dear child, if you had not lost all these things then you would not know how to begin again."  I got angry and said to God "How do I begin again when I have to feed my children and I am overwhelmed with work to do on my home."  God then spoke to me again and said "my dearest one, just Be Love."  Once again I got angry and said "Be love, Be love.......how can I do that with all these things to do and think about."  God answered me again and said "dearest child, have faith...I am love, you are me and with this allow yourself to accept my love and just be."  At that moment I fell to my knees and felt this overwhelming feeling of Grace envelop me.  I put my hand over my heart and said "I love you, you are beautiful."  I then realized that when we pray for something and when we really have faith we receive what we ask for.  However, if we aren't willing to surrender it then what we ask for sometimes needs to be removed from our pathway.  I am so thankful that God answered my prayers.  I was able to spend two months with my children camping, going to ball games and doing things I never had time for.  My kids are back in school now and I am getting back to doing what I love.  That is simply being love.  
 
I ask you ask yourself what is being removed in my life so that I can make way for truth when things seem hard and you have losses in your life.  Then tell yourself that you know that God always has a purpose for you and that is simply Love.