Stressful days have been a plenty of late, and not just for yours truly. I?ve found myself losing touch with friends and family for long stretches while they are in the throes and challenges of their jobs, finances, relationships and family demands. Life can be like a tornado, sucking you into its vortex and not letting you go no matter how hard you try to do otherwise. How does one not get carried away?

I was recently invited for an afternoon treat at a spa in the hills just north of Montreal. It?s a wonderful place hidden away in the pine forests, offering a variety of outdoor whirlpools, indoor saunas, and even the chance for the truly brave to dip themselves into death defying cold water ponds. Even the thought of going into one of those is enough to erase all links to the external world ? trust me!

It was my second visit and this time I felt a strong urge to ?empty?. I had too much on my mind and I really wanted to let it all go, at least for a while. Although the rule is for silence, it was a Friday afternoon and there was much chatter going on and I was continually walking off to be on my own and focus on my breathing. I also observed some interesting reactions in myself.

Still being in the realm of the senses, I couldn?t help but overhear people talking about business, possessions, relationships ? the usual list of things that identifies people to themselves and to others. The more I followed my breath the more I could feel myself floating above the world of earthly possessions, and it was a little bit scary. Who am I without any of these exterior definitions?

Much to my surprise, for the first time I was compelled to take a dip in the tiny pool kept a degree of two above freezing. The fact that I was not only willing but able to do this was unusual for me. I was someone who always openly stated that ?this was not for me?. That day, for some reason, I didn?t feel that I had to be defined by what I usually did or who I normally was. Somehow, that person didn?t have control over what I was doing. As I stepped down into the cold water my body felt, dare I say it, joy! I was already very warm from the whirlpool and my body was thrilled at the balance the cold water provided. As I (rather gingerly) stepped back out, I sat down by the outdoor fire and marvelled at my skin as it steamed away, not unlike the old locomotive engines as they used to take their last gasp into the station; my body felt like it had finally ?arrived?. Was I busy worrying about my job at this moment? Uh, no.

After about three hours of releasing and emptying, I headed over to the locker room to shower and get ready for our dinner at a nearby restaurant. On my own, I was still floating in what seemed like suspended time. At one point, since we were headed into the weekend where we officially enter spring, I calculated that it was in fact the last day of winter. As those who know me can attest, I am one of those people who would like to stop the world and celebrate this blessed event. I got quite excited by this thought and was taken away by it all, until I suddenly calculated that if it was indeed the last day of winter I was in some big scheduling trouble! Since the last day of winter fell on a Saturday, I realized that I had somehow double booked myself for the Sunday and would have a huge mess to sort out.

For fifteen minutes I was dumbfounded that I could have inadvertently scheduled two important events on the same day. My mind began racing about who I should first contact, what I should say, what my options were ? I felt badly that I would have to disappoint several people, including myself.

Then as my mind came full circle to thoughts about the last day of winter, I realized that Saturday was in fact tomorrow and that I was still existing in today, which was Friday! If there was ever a pregnant pause, it was taking place in that moment I can tell you. I almost had to pinch myself awake and reconnect the dots back in time to realize that I was still in a ?today? that felt like ?yesterday?. Had I really been able to let go of my day so completely, only to have it given back? The wheels of time were spinning!

This experience made me think of how flexible our definition of time can be. Is it something measured or experienced? Even when we turn the clocks ahead this weekend (I only hope I don?t get too excited about that!) do you ever wonder how it is that you can just take your clock down from the wall and wind it ahead an hour? What are you doing exactly? If you were really experiencing this wouldn?t it be fascinating? You could watch yourself in high speed going through the next hour in two or three seconds. Talk about animated!

Now some of friends would call my experience just another blonde moment. But honestly, it was an important lesson in how gripped we can become by our reality and not even notice its tentacles entwined into our every thought and action. Are we in control of our circumstance, or is it controlling us? A good question to ask ourselves when we realize we?ve not made time for the important people in our lives (ourselves included!) and yet another season has come to pass and still the tornado of time continues to carry us along on a path not necessarily our own.